Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in M to the A to the mutha-fuckin' R Y's LiveJournal:

[ << Previous 20 ]

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
3:43 pm	i miss my old journal a lil bit. yes. i do. maybe i'll refer back to this one occassionally. (wait.. I just did.) It's raining and the weather is perfect for cuddling. Ah well. Maybe by the next rain I'll have a cuddle buddy. hahaha, doubt it. I'm noticing that I am not responding to people liking me, because I know what they want is not what I want. That stupid "Who got the hooch... baby..." song is in my head. Damn you Shannon. Damn all of you. Hmm. I wonder. (I also wonder) Shut up you.
A secret garden!
Wednesday, May 18th, 2005
8:11 am	why is it so freakin' cold in this house? So I work again today until 6. "work". hahaha... There haven't been any walk -ins. Everyone who enters that building is there for Dave. :P ah well. time will tell. Last night my mom was telling Nick all about how she used to love to breast feed me. I died a lot inside. So Ok. Kevin is my knight in shining cute thing. I must get dressed. WHoops. Peace out.
1 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Monday, May 16th, 2005
11:37 am	I couldn't sleep in. Why? Mom was being a mega bitch last night. I wanted to kick her in the box. I brought Coira (Rob's kitten that I want real bad) home, and mom started yelling at me about how we have no money. And all I can think about is how she forced me to go to school. And payed for it herself. IF SHE HADN'T MADE ME GO WE WOULDN'T BE POOR. On the radio (NPR I beleive) some black soul/jazz lady and her band are doing "Seven Nation Army" Not jazz. Blues. IT's awesome. I love blues sometimes. Spent time alone with Kevin. I haven't done that in a long time, cos I've been all winky. My eyes have cleared up. Yesterday morning I had even forgotten they had been bugging me. How very strange. Beck and White Stripes go together like coke and rum. Current Music: Seven Nation Army- Some Black Chick.
A secret garden!
Friday, May 13th, 2005
8:26 pm	eyes... hurt... so ... bad... i am at the point in my pain where sticking a needle in my eye to deflate it doesn't sound too awful. What if it's glaucoma? Jesus! I'm getting old! I'm realizing this little by little. Work was long. Found about 5 lucky clovers. Maybe thats god's way of apologising for fucking up my eyes. What if I go blind? I'm starting to worry about that. That would be the worst thing. I wouldn't be able to paint or draw anymore. I wouldn't be able to read. I'd have to read fucking braille. And I don't have the patience to learn HOT to read braille. Let me describe this feeling. Imagine eyelashes growing the opposite direction. And Imagine that up until now they hadnt grown that way. But then all of the sudden you have little eye lash stubble scraping against your eyes every time you blink. Little grains of pain. Like a windshield wiper that's made out of concrete. Scratching the windshield so badly that you can hardly see out of it. I seriously need some pain killers. This is terrible. I can't blink. I can't close my eyes and rest them. I can't hold them open. Basically screwed. And I work again tomorrow. No one will come in for me. I will just sit there again waiting and reading, and doing crossword puzzles. All during work my eyes would start freaking out. Streaming water down my face. Is it water? Or are they tears? Are tears only tears when you are emotionally crying? Watering is a natural reaction to pain in the eyes(or else where) so It's not really tears. I don't know. i feel like I'm going mad. I really would like some painkillers. *cries*
1 found the gate...| A secret garden!
7:44 am	damn mine eyes Do you know what sucks? Waking up at 3 in the morning to your eyes totally itching and burning and stinging, and watering. And when I stumbled to the bathroom as soon as I turned on the lights to see where my eye drops were, my eye immediately shut and WOULD NOT OPEN. finally I coaxed them to open, but we compromised cos they didn't want to. They would open, but only to blink a million times as they watered like hell and only opened about 2 millimeters. Kevin called around midnight I think, last night. His car started as soon as the tow truck set it in his driveway. Hahahahha... I think his car is a girl. And he must have forgotten her birthday. Or not noticed a new beauty regimen or something. hahaha... what a fickle little car. My dreams werent too bizarre last night. Hmm... maybe thats what happens when I go to bed before midnight. It's been so long Id forgotten what its like!
3 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Thursday, May 12th, 2005
10:08 pm	Long boring uneventful day at work. But I did find another 4 leaf clover. Kevin came at 8 to pick me up. But then his car wouldn't start. So he called Jeff to the rescue. We waited around for like an hour and a half. I was at work for 11 hours if we include the waiting for car to start/tow truck time. I desperately need a ride to work tomorrow. Mom is working. Kevin's car is dead. And I highly doubt Megan will want to give me a ride. My eyes are really blurry. I can't really read that well at the moment. I just want to go to bed. I think I will. I feel my period looming over me. That's why I feel so bitter and down. Blahgh. If you can give me a ride to work, so I can be there at 9, will you IM me or call or something? Please. :( room time. Current Mood: drained Current Music: such great heights-postal service
2 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
12:06 pm	pink eye brought on by allergies? The doctor checked my eyes. She said it is probably pink eye brought about by allergies. And then she said "I dunno, you should probably get a second opinion on that". Thank you PROFESSIONAL. So she prescribed me some eye drops. I just took them and they are dripping down the back of my throat. Tastes like when I snorted assorted drugs. hahah... drug salad. "you guys wanna try my drug salad?" So I guess I'm going to spend today alone. But then again allergy-related-pink-eye wouldn't be contagious now would it? So I'm going to sit here, do crossword puzzles, have a cigarette, and blink a lot. And by blink a lot, i mean blink a lot. And sip on the eye drops that are slithering down my throat. *mmmmmmmm* Refreshing. Current Music: rebel rebel- bowie
2 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Monday, May 9th, 2005
5:48 pm	Gatorade is more than just water So work begins tomorrow. I still haven't even put together an outfit. It's beautiful out today. I think Kevin's got strep throat. Or Leprecy. Because his toe fell of today. So I woke up today and realized last night online with Doug WASN"T a bad dream. What a freakin' weirdo!!!!!!!!!!!
A secret garden!
3:00 am	Oh and he had a few more Q's Doug : what is E-mail adds bnlgal: somethingramblesweater@gmail.com bnlgal: i alreday told you bnlgal: but there it is bnlgal: goodnight Doug : can that e-mail work for yahoo or msn? bnlgal: its not an instant messege thing bnlgal: you can EMAIL her from your email account bnlgal: like all emails work Doug : ok Like I said. Moron! hahahahha
A secret garden!
2:52 am	Part 2: Crazy Canadian Conspiracy! Doug : ? bnlgal: what/ Doug : can you hook me up with one of your girl friend plz bnlgal: NO!!! bnlgal: Why would I do that??? bnlgal: You just want a greencard! bnlgal: That's not love bnlgal: That's just your greed Doug : my new cell # 1-519-386-3240 bnlgal: hahah bnlgal: you think i'm going to hook you up with one of my friends? bnlgal: that's crazy! Doug : I do want the love bnlgal: That's bullshit! Doug : I am telling the turh bnlgal: Marrying someone just for a greencard is deseitful and wrong. Doug : it is not about the green card Doug : it is about loveing some one bnlgal: So automatically your going to fall in love with a friend of mine? (Doug returns from away) Doug : yes bnlgal: somethingramblesweater@gmail.com bnlgal: that's my friend Elissa bnlgal: she's hot and likes guys in kilts bnlgal: she's dated many Doug : do you have a pic Doug : of her bnlgal: yep Doug : may I see it plz Doug : does she have yahoo or msn? bnlgal: nope bnlgal: American girls tend to be on AIM Doug : oh ok Doug : so may see her pic plz? bnlgal: sending it bnlgal: accept it bnlgal: HELLO> bnlgal: Im sending it Doug : I am here bnlgal: i sent it as a photo bnlgal: you have to accept the file transter request Doug : are you going to see her soon bnlgal: I see her all the time Doug : kool bnlgal: why? Doug : what is her age? bnlgal: why dont you email her and ask her all your love questions? bnlgal: She loves those little survey emails Doug : ok bnlgal: Well i'm going to bed now Doug : can you ask her to give me a call @ 1-519-386-3204 plz bnlgal: You have to email her Man. Guys are gay. But i'm not at all hurt. I BROKE UP WITH HIM BACK IN OCTOBER I THOUGHT! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD! Is he really that stupid? I can't stop laughing. WHAT A MORON! Current Mood: amused Current Music: Backwater- Brian Eno
1 found the gate...| A secret garden!
2:34 am	THE BREAK UP DIDNT KICK IN TIL TONIGHT!???? Doug : hey sexy Doug : I miss you bnlgal: I just got a job! bnlgal: I work full time at a salon now Doug : kool Doug : do you miss me Doug : do you like my tat bnlgal: What does it say? Doug : I came I saw I conred bnlgal: And what did you see and conquer? Doug : do you miss me Doug : you bnlgal: You saw and conquered ME? Doug : lol bnlgal: i hope thats NOT what the tatoo means Doug : can I call you bnlgal: bnlgal: no, don't call me Doug : why bnlgal: cos it's late, and i dont have anything to talk about Doug : ok Doug : do you miss me at all? Doug : when can I call you? bnlgal: I dont know Doug : why do you have nothing to talk about? bnlgal: cos i'm tired and don't like to talk Doug : oh ok Doug : are you seeing anyone right now? bnlgal: ...are you? Doug : no bnlgal: Why aren't you? bnlgal: I never told you to wait for me, i don't expect you to wait around or anything Doug : I do love you Doug : I am waiting for you Doug : what time are you going to bed? bnlgal: I dont know bnlgal: after you didnt call for a while, I stopped feeling the same and I moved on bnlgal: I am flattered you feel that way, but I am sorry I don't feel the same way. Doug : what you have a bf now bnlgal: Yes. Doug : bye bnlgal: I just cant do the long distance thing bnlgal: it's too hard Doug : ok Doug : I got a Q for you bnlgal: I mean, youre still cool and all, but i don't feel that same way bnlgal: Ivebeen through a lot this year bnlgal: way more than you know Doug : any of your girls friends are looking bnlgal: probably Doug : kool Doug : can you ask plz bnlgal: Do You just want a greencard or something? Doug : brb in 6mims Doug : yes I do (Doug is Away) bnlgal: Hahaha... that's why you liked American girls bnlgal: i get it bnlgal: hey no hard feelings What... the... FUCK??? Now I don't feel bad for feeling nothing for him! I thought it was abnormal to have someone be "in love at first site" and have no personality.. HE WANTED ME FOR A GREENCARD! AAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA*vomits* What a strange canadian. NOTE TO SELF: DON'T TRUST CANADIANS EVER AGAIN!!!!!! hahah what a CREEEEP!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH I'm more amused than anything now.
4 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Sunday, May 8th, 2005
6:07 pm	Well today was suprisingly not bad. Saw Cory at church today. His gramma is a always there. He hasnt' been there since we were way younger. What a coincidence that he should be there on the rare occasion that I was there! I helped mom with the SUnday Schoolers. I helped the kids decorate gardening gloves and draw things on them and spell, the usual helping little kids out. Mom went out with Karen so I'm home alone, which is fine. But i'm now really bored. Nick was supposed to call me back. He said he would after dinner. But that was at 3. And he gave the impression that he was just about to sit down for dinner. And now it's 6. And I don't know if he just doesn't want to hang out, or if he forgot or what. Well Happy Mother's Day. Today is the day in which we put down our knives and other weapons for a few hours and embrace the enemy. And today also marks the day when Elissa cashed in on some ta-tas. "This is a very special time" Current Mood: the dance of life Current Music: take on me- a-ha
2 found the gate...| A secret garden!
2:31 am	Happpy Mama's Day I went to my neice Samantha's 9th b-day party. I was 10 when she was born. I can remember her birth, and Cyndi's pregnancy vividly. How bizarre. Like a twilight Zone episode. Only mundane. But mundane is still scary. I'm growing up. *shudder* After a bit of family time, I went home and took a nap. It was a surreal day. And then Megan called and I went to the mall with her because she needed to get her mom a mother's Day gift. I got my mom a gift too! hahahehehahahahahha! (evil laughter) At Earthbound in the clearence area there it was. A ceramic torso. It's bizarre. But I found it wonderful and perfect for mom. Venis de Willendorf-esque. A concrete textures torso. No legs. No arms. No head. HUGE ass and hips. TINY boobs. And little sticking out where the arms should be. It's compelling in a way. A perfect homage to motherhood. It's about 9 inches tall. The hips are the girth of a softball. Like a fat bottomed pear. And it kinda resembles a whole chicken that you buy at the grocery store. Thats how big the wings are. Yeah, that's basically what it resembles. Think of a fat dwarfed angel with no arms, and she got slaughtered and cleaned the way chickens do. Where the neck would be, is hollowed out so it can hold a votive candle. So I gave my mom this decapetated big assed quadrepalegic with tiny little wings. It's heavenly. Then Megan and I went to Border's and visited with Jonah and had heavenly cafe edibles. Hung out with Kevin tonight after Megan dropped me off. Gave mom her gift. Helped (or TRIED to help) Kevin get his mom a card for his mom. But before that we listened to that purple White Stripes Vinyl he bought off eBay. (well worth it, I've decided) So tomorrow I'm going to church with mom because she said that's all she wanted for Mother's Day. She has to do the Sunday school lesson for the kids, so I'm going to help her, and we are going to have the children decorate gardening gloves for their moms/grandma's and make cards. We already got some poems that we will make copies of, so the kids can choose different poems, and then decorate and illustrate the front. Tomorrow shouldn't be too painful. but it probably will be. I want to hang out tomorrow night. Because Monday will be my last day to really sleep and slack off. Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: fat bottom girl- queen
A secret garden!
Friday, May 6th, 2005
2:59 pm	I got a JOB! Corbin and Company on Dixie Highway. Hellz yeah. I start on Tuesday! I work full time, bitches! *does the employment dance* God, I kept nicking myself with my scissors when I was cutting Kevin's hair. Mega ouch. I know Kevin wants it shorter, but I didn't want to cut it ALL off with the Boss Guy there, cos I was nervous enough. And having a Robert Mitchum-esque man staring at my hair cutting technique was intimidating. He was a Redken sales person. The kind that travels and teaches new haircoloring techniques. There's a freakin' vacuum attached to the counter at my station! I didn't know what it was. All I saw was the hose sticking out and a switch. And when I was sweeping up all the hair, I couldn't find the dust pan. Kevin pointed to the vacuum. But I thought it was a hose for water. Cos it's right under the sink. THERE ARE SINKS AT EACH STATION TOO! AND I GET MY OWN ELECTRIC SANITIZER THING! You just stick in your implements in this box, and the blue light sterilizes it. Far out man. Now I want to nap. And then I shall clean the room some more. I have to some up with different groovy outfits to wear to my job now. Eek.. No Jeans.
3 found the gate...| A secret garden!
11:19 am	The dawning of the age of Scorpio Going to Corbin and Company today to cut Kevin's hair and show him what I can do. I still need to get some of my supplies in order. Shit. I felt fine and awake when I first got up. But I just took a shower. And now I'm back to tired. And I took my meds. Grrr... My eyes keep drooping. oh my god. mom is bitching at me!!!! AND I"M FUCKING GETTING A JOB! Kill. Current Music: Blackbird- Beatles
1 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Thursday, May 5th, 2005
3:04 pm	What does this accomplish? Yay! Kevin will be back tonight! *happy dance* Hung out at Daniels last night with good ole Elissa. Drew her some dinosaurs. And her as a cavegirl with caveboy Daniel. Theyre pretty cute. Dammit. i'm not accomplishing things today. FUCK YOU MOM FOR PLANTING THAT DAMN PHRASE IN MY HEAD! heres another phrase in my head right now "i made you look like a JAPANESE BAAAAABYYYYY!" Mother is working. Yesssss. I shall clean my room some more. I made Lissa a "grab bag" full of trinkets and whatnot. All from my room. You may be thinking "but Mary, giving your friends stuff in your room? Isn't that a little cheap?" And I shall say "No." Because if youve ever SEEN my room you know that it's filled up with toys, jewlelry, books, stuffed animals, journals, pens, markers, brushes, and pictures that are all untouched and still brand new looking. Usually with their tags and wrappers still on. So I am weeding out. Brand new-ish things. Mint condition things really. Just need to get dusted off. Jonah came over today. Let me burn some of his Sigur Ros CDs. Rock. I get this happy excited restless feeling inside when I think about Kevin being back in a few hours. Could it be? Is Mary... dare I say it? Excited??? Excitement is a rare thing for me! (well... mental excitement... cos I get physical excitement fairly easily) haha.. anyway.. Yay!!! Current Mood: excited Current Music: midnight radio- hedwig
3 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
8:06 pm	He's filed under cocksucker in my little black book. Me: hey Megan: what's up Me: Cleaning or tidying my room little by little Me: i need boxes though Megan: ... why? Me: to put things in, silly! Megan: .... Me: junk box, keep box, maybe box, Megan: I wish I could help you Me: it's ok Me: i'll be fine Megan: are you sure?????????? Megan: *sobs* Me: Why? Do you want to help me? Me: you'll probably end up POCKETING everythihg Me: damn spaniard. Me: hahahhhaha Megan: I'm just hungry Me: getting grass stains on everything and whatnot Me: Well i can guarentee the only edible thing you'll find in my room is cat puke. Megan: ..ew Megan: that almost made me gaga Megan: gag Me: gaga? And now she's talking about "the third movie" and how she k nows how it will end. And I still don't know what third movie she's talking about. Room. Current Music: modest mouse- the moon and antarctica
3 found the gate...| A secret garden!
3:31 pm	My therapist looks like Janet Reno from Janet Reno's House Party. Its quite the funny.
A secret garden!
Tuesday, May 3rd, 2005
9:43 pm	i love you but i hate you. which brings to mind how much i love you. Nick's mom got me a Voodoo doll on her trip to Louisiana! Fucking sweet. I love it. It's my African Hero. I carry it around in my purse. It's chilling in the cell phone pocket. Waving at the passers by. I love it. It's so damn creepy. I get visions of it coming to life and biting me really hard. My nerves are really on edge. I can't stand talking on my phone. I get this crampy panic feeling. This is a new thing.. gar... I'm just really anxious right now. Probably because today has been constant battling with mom, going to Somerset, buying really fucking cute and nice baby clothes(in which I will never see again), and spending the whole fucking day with mom. Oh. And did I mention that every minute of this hectic day has been brought to you by the letters M. O. And M? Yeah. Freaking out. Need a smoke. Feel like puking. Want a hug. I think this is a small panic episode. And the results of no cigarettes all day and being with mother. kill. kill. kill. Daniels tonight for more movie magic? Please god. Please. Wait. What does this accomplish?? Mom wouldnt even buy me books today. I was interested in reading Sylvia Plath's the Bell Jar. But she refused to buy it. She said if she found that book in the house she'd hide it from me. And she wouldnt' buy me Anne Rice books because their too "dark" GOD FUCKING DAMMIT. I'm dark! LET ME READ DARK SHIT IF I WANT TO! *blows off head* Thank you. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: cool ethan's song
3 found the gate...| A secret garden!
Saturday, April 30th, 2005
8:49 pm	Iwant you all to know that my favorite movie is on tomorrow night. I'm afraid it's on at the same time as the new family guy. But you can bet your britches I'll be taping this one. "Riding the Bus with my Sister" starring Rosie O'Donnel as a Re-Re! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!(Re-re mating call)...................................................... *drools*............................. *licks ice off the school bus window for hydration*.................. NARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: re-re!! Current Music: lets get retarded- Black Eyes Peas
2 found the gate...| A secret garden!